Have you ever pooped your pants or had to go poop really bad while you were in the middle of a wrestling match? If not, be thankful for that. I know I am thankful that it never happened to me, for I’ve seen it happen to a few people and it was always pretty embarrassing for them and very funny to the rest of the team. 😂
It can happen to anyone on the wrong day… It doesn’t matter how good you are at wrestling, if your digestive system decides it has to poop, then well, your wrestling skills will not be of any benefit for you in terms of making that go away. I’ve been in the wrestling world for decades and not once have I ever seen someone coach “sphincter control” in a practice…haha, that’s one of those things in wrestling where you are on your own.
One of the first guys to do a Remember The Wrestler article was Charlie Falck from Apple Valley HS/Iowa Hawkeyes. He was a stud. 4X MN State Champion, won several national titles, was a multi-AA for the Hawkeyes, etc. When he answered the question about whether or not he has any funny wrestling stories, he responded with this:
Charlie Falck: I once bumped up to wrestle Jay Broschel when Apple Valley came down to Cedar Rapids for a tourney…. I pooped my singlet going into 2nd or 3rd period……..continued the match…I lost….shitty call……………
Ya see? It happens to the best of us! And when one of my best friends was wrestling in the placing rounds at AAU State as a 7th grader, it happened to him… And what made this story as funny as it is today was his opponent’s parents’ angry, “crazy wrestling parent” response to it.
To start, these two guys were wrestling for 5th and 6th at state and it was one of several battles they had. They wrestled a lot, the matches were always close, my buddy always seemed to squeak out a 1-2 point win, and the two guys HATED each other as did the parents. They always ended up chirping at each other or throwing shade at one another, any time they met… So the emotions were running pretty high prior to the start of the match. The high level of stress may have actually played a role in my friend’s pants-poopage.
This match unraveled in the way it usually did. It was a very close match with my friend leading by a point or so the majority of the time and both corners were heated as always. With about 30 seconds left in the 3rd period, an expression came over my friend’s face to indicate that he was not feeling well, and he was encouraged by our coach to just keep going and stay tough. With about 15 seconds left in the match, my friend still held the lead when all the sudden, a stain that has the color of the standard mud puddle became noticeable on my friend’s singlet… and it was located right on his ass…. and it grew larger with every second that went by…. It was pretty clear that my friend had pooped his pants in the middle of a very important wrestling match in which he was leading by a point and still had to hold on for the win. When this became noticeable, our corner kind of became quiet, for there’s not really a whole lot you can say to coach or comfort someone who had just pooped their pants on the mat… We just sat there kind of expecting the match to be stopped, but somehow the official failed to notice the shit-stain on his butt that had begun running down the side of his leg as well as the terrible smell that was pungent enough to the point where we could smell it from the side of the mat… His opponent looked grossed out to the point where he was going to pass out or maybe even puke and contribute to the mess, but he kept going for he was down by a point still and needed to score quickly in order to win the match…. and the match was never stopped. Despite the sight of it and the smell, the ref didn’t notice it. The other kid’s parents were INFURIATED from the moment they noticed it and were yelling about how disgusting it was.
Somehow my friend hung on for the win and when he did, a huge spat broke out. The other guy’s parents were not only disgusted, but ANGRY because they felt like my friend pooped his pants on purpose to give himself an advantage to hold on for the win… Let me repeat that…. These people SERIOUSLY thought that my friend did it on purpose as a distraction to win a close match. Never underestimate the insanity of a wrestling parent…it has no bounds. I seriously can’t understand how anyone could be so stupid to where this would even cross their minds. I mean, it boggles my mind. If you poop your pants on the wrestling mat…I am going to assume that there is a 99.9999999% chance that the guy didn’t do it on purpose. I mean, I don’t know what would even prompt a person to think anyone pooped their pants on purpose. It’s icky. It’s embarrassing. It’s a mess. It’s not ever, EVER an option or part of ANY wrestler’s strategy to poop their pants on purpose to win a match. I can’t imagine assuming that someone literally thought to themselves, “ok I’m up by one with about 25 seconds left…screw it, I’ll just poop my pants so he doesn’t want to shoot on me…. Then I’ll win for sure!” Yet, here was this kid’s parents being restrained and running their mouths angrily and incessantly, yelling stuff at us like, “YOU ARE DISGUSTING!” “LEARN TO WRESTLE BY THE RULES!,” “YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!” “CHEATER!!!” “SOME PEOPLE WILL DO ANYTHING TO WIN!” “WE WOULD NEVER COACH OUR GUYS TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT EVER!!!” It was pretty heated… and pretty freaking bizarre, for while you can expect someone to be grossed out by something like this, you wouldn’t expect them to assume that they did it on purpose and better yet, that the coaches TRAINED us to poop our pants as part of our strategy. It was one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen in my life and because of these people’s ridiculousness… It was also hilarious. My friend promptly made his way to the bathroom, noticeably clenching his butt cheeks, with a poopy singlet to the sounds of a couple grown ups yelling at him and calling him a cheater for pooping his pants…a 7th grade kid they were screaming at…
I can’t help, but wonder how these parents described this match to others who didn’t see it… “yeah, our boy SHOULD have won. It was close and he was about to make a comeback, but the other guy cheated and pooped his pants so he lost. If you ever wrestle a Mepo guy, watch out, they are dirty… they train their guys to poop their pants over there!”
Good thing my friend was a pretty thick-skinned kid. After changing his clothes and cleaning himself, he found us a few minutes later and when he did, he smiled and the first sentence that came out of his mouth was, “well that was shitty. I can’t believe I won that. From the moment the ref started the match I was spending just as much energy clenching my buttcheeks to hold that in as I was trying to wrestle. That was hard! Those people seriously thought I did that on purpose?!!!” All we could do from that point on, is laugh hysterically…as we had been since the match finished.